THE TOUCH OF A HAND
THE TOUCH OF A HAND
He entered the empty sanctuary of St. Martin’s Catholic Church with trepidation, feeling he was an alien in a strange land.
I could have gone to any church.
The polished pews, vibrant stained glass windows and ornate statues quickly restored the sense of awe and wonder Thomas Beck had experienced in this holy place in his youth. As his footsteps shattered the ominous silence, his guilt intensified for having strayed from the church and focused wholly on earthly pursuits.
I have no place left to turn, but I have no right to be here.
Reaching the front row, he stepped to the left and walked slowly to the end, where he planned to make his appeal. As he lowered the kneeler down with the toe of his shoe, he noticed a beautiful life sized statue of Jesus facing the aisle to his left, not twenty feet away. It’s arms were outstretched and its hands were displayed palms up, as if beckoning, welcoming all who gazed upon it. Draped in immaculate layered robes of beige and red, he couldn’t help but feel the garb was far more opulent than the real Jesus would have worn when he walked the Earth. Its facial countenance was one of being at peace and its eyes stared straight ahead. There was a waist high stand before it where lit votive candles caused the shadows to quiver and dance mysteriously upon it.
Thomas was relieved the statue wouldn’t be staring at him, as he was about to ask, pray, beg, for both forgiveness and mercy.
Though I deserve neither.
He knelt, bowed his head, closed his eyes and clasped his hands together before him.
God, I have no right to ask you for anything because I’ve completely turned my back on you for a very long time.
Quite unintentionally, he began to speak out loud.
“I have been so consumed with making a success of my business that I have neglected the emotional needs of my family. I have allowed the pressures of my work environment to permeate my home and I have been angry with and mistreated my wife, Denise, and ignored my fatherly duties toward our three daughters. Oh, God, she left me and took my precious girls with her and I miss them more than anything.”
He could not prevent his eyes from filling with tears.
“I love them so much and want desperately to change and get them back, but I don’t know if the harm I’ve done them can be repaired. Please, please tell me what I should do.”
He sobbed and felt embarrassed by his display of weakness and self-pity. He could never reveal vulnerability to his employees but somehow felt a release of tension as a result. As his tears flowed freely, he thought, I should be exposing my true heart to my family. I shouldn’t be crying about my plight but doing something about it. It’s suddenly very clear to me that I’ve made all the wrong sacrifices and haven’t attempted to preserve what I hold most dear in my life. My family.
Despite the setbacks and downturn of the economy his business was still profitable. I’ll sell it. I’ll put my company on the market and get a job with fewer headaches, fewer demands, less stress, and spend more time with the people I love so very much. I’ll go right back to the office and do it right now.
He was suddenly aware of a physical release of pressure off his left shoulder that he had failed to notice before. He glanced to his left. There was no one there, but his peripheral vision caught a glimpse of movement in the statue before him. It was perfectly still. As I knew it would be. It was just a candle light optical illusion.
Without taking his gaze off the statue of Jesus, he rose.
Its eyes were staring at him.
Then the eyes of the statue of Jesus slowly swiveled away from him and once more stared straight ahead.
He gasped, and then came to his senses.
It was just a trick of the flickering flames.
Had to be.
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As always, awesome ending. This story also brought back memories of the ambience of a Catholic church. As a grade schooler I did love the statues and flickering candles. It made church seem special and wondrous in a respectful, silent way. I love the ambience of the church I attend now, but it is different–not inducive to meditation like the Catholic church ambience.
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